Misadventures in Babysitting
by idearlylovealaugh
Summary: Ron hoped he and Hermione could at least function as ordinary baby-minders, but Teddy Lupin is an extraordinary child.


_A/N: This was originally posted for Romione Shipweek on tumblr. I'm not JKR and everything HP belongs to her._

A pleasant breeze wound its way through a park on the outskirts of London on a beautiful autumn afternoon, ruffling the rather exceptional hair - his bright ginger, hers prodigiously bushy - of a young couple ensconced on a bench. Though the day wasn't particularly cold, the couple sat close together as they watched two little boys enthusiastically dig and roll about in the park's sandpit. They laughed at the children's antics, one every now and then pointing out to the other something particularly cute the little brown-haired boy had done.

"Look at how clever he is with that little spade. Oh goodness, he is going to need _such_ a bath tonight!" Hermione exclaimed as Teddy upended a small pail of sand over his head and laughed uproariously.

Ron unconsciously squeezed his arm around her a little tighter at the happy tone of her voice. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, ignoring the flyaway strands of her hair that the wind blew into his face, and reflected on how surprisingly well the day had gone.

When his father had flooed into the shop that morning with the news that his mother had a nasty cold and couldn't watch Teddy, Ron had surprised everyone - himself included, truth be told - by offering to take him for the afternoon. After all, he had never watched the rambunctious 18-month-old on his own, or any other child for that matter. When you came from a big family, people expected you to be good with kids - but it didn't really hold when you were the almost-youngest. He had practically been a baby himself when Ginny was born, so he had never really had any experience watching over a much-younger child.

As soon as he told Hermione, she had actually taken the afternoon off to help (Ron chose to believe that this was a mark of her fondness for spending time with Teddy rather than an indication of her confidence in his single-handed baby-minding abilities), so he had the bonus of spending a weekday afternoon with his hard-working girlfriend. The time was doubly-precious as his Auror training program was due to resume shortly, meaning extended bouts away from home and a dispiriting lack of leisure time.

Not wanting to expose Teddy to any germs at the Burrow, they had first taken him to their flat where he had spent an hour playing with a grudging Crookshanks. Teddy had been delighted with the furry, orange beast, chasing him and babbling his version of the cat's name, but when "Gooks" started making several aggressive bids for escape Hermione had wisely suggested this nearby park.

The weather was beautiful and Teddy had a grand time chasing butterflies in the grass and swinging between Ron and Hermione's arms. Then he had found the sandpit and it seemed like nothing in the world could make him happier than digging with a spade and pushing around a fleet of toy diggers and dump trucks. He had made fast friends with another like-minded toddler and the two of them had whiled away the afternoon alternately making and destroying piles of sand as Ron and Hermione watched from their bench in the autumn sun.

"This was a good idea," Ron said, taking a deep breath of fresh air. The lilting sound of birds singing and the happy laughter of children wove a peaceful melody in the background.

"The park?" Hermione asked, looking up at him from her position comfortably leaning against his side.

Yeah, the park, but also… this," he replied, nodding in Teddy's direction. "I was kinda nervous, but this was fun," he admitted, looking down at her with a grin.

"It was, wasn't it," she agreed, smiling softly. Her face seemed to glow in the warm afternoon light and he couldn't help but lean down for a kiss. He could imagine this - not anytime soon, mind, but sometime in the comfortably distant future - he and Hermione, taking their little boy or girl to the park on a perfect sunlit afternoon. It felt so natural; he felt so content. _We're good at this._

"It's getting late, we should probably make a move," he commented as he pulled away, noticing the sun sinking lower over the horizon. "Dad said Andromeda would be back in town this afternoon. I think she'll be around to get him at six."

"I think you're right," Hermione said with a sigh, reluctantly sitting up from his side. "You grab the bag and I'll get… Teddy…" she trailed off as she turned to the two little boys playing happily in the sand pit.

Two _identical_ little boys.

"Oh. Shit." Ron breathed as he followed her line of sight.

"But Teddy… which one…" Hermione stuttered, gripping his arm tightly.

"OK, OK, don't panic!" Ron hissed. "Oh, sweet fucking Merlin on a motorbike."

"They look _exactly_ the same!" Hermione moaned. "What are we going to… oh god, the mother! Where's the mother? We can't let her see!"

Ron scanned the playground quickly. "She's over there, I'm pretty sure," he said, jerking his head in the direction of a harried-looking woman trying to coax a wailing girl down from the top of a slide. Without taking her eyes from the girl, she pointed a finger at an older boy frozen in the act of jumping from the top of the monkey bars and appeared to be telling him off. "Looks like she's got her hands full."

"We've got to sort this out," Hermione said hurriedly. She pushed her hair back from her face with both hands, thinking intently. "Let's just take Teddy and go back to the flat. I'm sure he'll change back as soon as he's away from his new friend."

"Great. And Teddy is… which one now?" Ron looked at her expectantly.

They looked back at the children currently pushing toy trucks and making bulldozer noises. It was impossible to tell the two apart. Looking for all the world like a pair of identical twins, they continued to crawl about and dig merrily, pushing the sand into piles.

"Hey, Teddy!" Ron said, quickly crouching in front of them. Two indistinguishable sets of innocent brown eyes looked up at him. "OK, now, who's Teddy?" he asked, in the enthusiastic voice one would use to ask a dog if he was, in fact, a good boy.

The two boys looked at each other and immediately burst out into a fit of giggles. Ron looked up at Hermione despairingly.

"The clothes! Metamorphmagi can only change their bodies, not what they're wearing," Hermione burst out excitedly as Ron stood up beside her. "They're both wearing dungarees, but the jumpers are different. Which one was Teddy wearing, the light blue with the white stripes or the medium blue with the gray stripes?"

Ron shook his head in frustration. "The hell if I know! They're basically the same shirt!"

"They are totally different!" Hermione cried. "I think Teddy had on the light blue shirt with white stripes. I'm almost certain," she said after a moment, looking back and forth between the two boys.

"Almost certain, like 'I'm definitely putting this answer on my Charms NEWT'-almost-certain or 'maybe we shouldn't kidnap a stranger's child in broad daylight"-almost-certain?"

"That's not helping, Ron!" she cried shrilly. She looked back at the boys. "Alright, I'm not completely sure," she admitted. "But we have to do something!"

"Isn't there something that could put him to rights, like a Finite Incantatem or something?" he asked desperately.

"No, no, because a metamorphmagus isn't using a spell, it's innate magic," she answered distractedly. "And anyway, I don't really think we should be using our wands in a… oh no, Ron, his mother is coming over!"

Ron looked over his shoulder and saw a woman heading their way, pulling a mutinous-looking child by the hand while another followed a few steps behind, head bent low over a device in his hands. Ron turned back to an agitated Hermione, gripped her shoulders and looked intently into her face.

"OK, here's the plan. You stall the mum, I'll figure out a way to get Teddy to change back."

He had little to no idea of exactly how he was going to do it, but something about the look in his eye and the determined set of his jaw must have convinced Hermione. Her expression turned to one of resolve and she nodded, giving him a swift peck on the cheek before darting behind him to intercept the approaching parent. He saw her slip between the woman and the boys and faintly heard her start to speak (" _Is this your little boy? He's just charming…"_ ) as he squatted down to face the Teddies once more.

"OK, Teddy, time to go see Gran. You love your Gran, right?" he asked encouragingly, hoping for some spark of recognition.

"Gan, Gan!" the boys shouted merrily with equal excitement. _No joy there_ , he thought dismally. It wasn't a stretch to imagine that both boys had a beloved Gran. Behind him, he thought he heard Hermione's chattering start to take a faintly desperate tone.

 _THINK, Ron!_ he told himself savagely. _How can I get him to do something only Teddy could do?! No magic, no magic… oh, bugger that_.

With a quick glance around, he pulled his wand out of his sleeve. Grabbing one of the toy trucks the boys had abandoned, he quickly transfigured it into a small, orange stuffed cat. Another tap had it prowling in a small circle around the sand. Both boys lit up with joy, but there was no mistaking the happy cry from the one to his left.

"Gooks! Gooks!" he cheered, making a swipe for the tail. Quick as a flash, Ron changed the toy cat back into a truck, pocketed his wand and scooped up the babbling child.

"Ted, good to see you, mate," he said, relieved, holding him so that their faces were level. Teddy laughed and put his chubby hands on Ron's cheeks. As Ron watched, his features changed back to normal, although his hair turned to a bright fiery red - whether in affection for himself or for Crookshanks, Ron wasn't sure. "Let's rescue Hermione."

"And this must be your little guy," the boy's mother remarked as Ron walked up to the small group of women and children, Teddy in his arms. Hermione swung around, relief clearly showing on her face at the sight of Teddy's familiar features, albeit with his new hair color. Teddy laughed and reached his arms out toward Hermione.

Ron spluttered at the woman's meaning. "Oh, we're not... he's not…"

"He's a sort of nephew," Hermione supplied hastily, taking Teddy from Ron and settling him on her hip.

"Just practicing, is that it?" the woman laughed. Ron and Hermione smiled at her weakly. "Well, he's darling," the woman continued. "A real glimpse of the future for you two. That hair must run in the family."

"So it does," Ron agreed hurriedly. "Well, we've really got to be off…"

"Of course, have a lovely day!" she waved, shepherding her children in the other direction.

Teddy twisted in Hermione's arms as they walked briskly towards the edge of the park, waving at his departing playmate.

"Buh-bye! Buh-bye!"

"That was brilliant, Ron! However did you do it?" Hermione exclaimed as soon as they were out of earshot.

"I'll tell you when we get back to the flat. Let's just say Crookshanks earned a few extra treats tonight," he replied. They walked in silence for a few minutes, intent on getting home. Teddy looked completely worn out and was now resting his head on Hermione's shoulder, thumb in his mouth.

"That woman's right you know, about hereditary stuff," Ron said suddenly as they turned the corner onto their street. "We're related to the Blacks, however distantly. Metamorphmagus ability could run in my family!"

"Don't let's worry about that right now," Hermione shushed him. "Let's concentrate on getting Teddy back to Andromeda without any further incident. Your mum wanted you to floo call her, too," she reminded him. "She wanted to know how it went."

"She's not going to like what she hears," Ron snorted. "That experience just set any grandkids from us back several years!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, but also flushed and couldn't completely hide a small smile at his comment. Ron watched her as she hitched Teddy up a little higher on her hip, tenderly smoothing his fiery hair out of his face while her own wild brown locks swirled around his head.

 _Well...maybe_.


End file.
